Monday, September 17, 2007
this will be the last blog i shall have in this blog. dry your tears with love dry your tears with love
father, you have taught me well. i am proud to have u as my father. and i have learn alot of valuable things from you. father, though you have not seen my blog..but what i have told you, you have heard before when you are in coma..
dad, i dedicate the song tears from x-japan to you, it is a sad tune but remember wherever whenever, dry your tears with love. there is a part sang in english that goes like this
loneliness your silent whisper
fills a river of tears
through the night
memory you never let me cry
and you, you never said good-bye
sometimes our tears blinded the love
we lost our dreams along the way
but i never thought you trade your
soul to the fates
never thought you'ld leave me alone
time through the rain has set me free
sands of time will keep your memory
love everlasting fades away
alive within your beatless heart
my father, you taught me to be a serious man..i will never forget this 17 years with you around in my life. dad, father how i may greet you, you are always that someone for me.
i look through the photos we took when i was an infant..how i wish we could share such moments again. at sis graduation, me, sis mum and you..that picture will be my favourite. i will keep it for life
i felt comfort because i had you as my father who has been teaching me the right morals. i felt comfort because i rushed back and able to spend a week with you before you left for heaven.
during the wake, i felt that you are still here and you will come back even though the cover has been lowered.. then i tell myself i dun wan to lie to myself. on the last day of the wake, i woke up with tears in my eyes. i dun want you to leave. but you must leave to heaven.
when my hands was on the car, i felt that i had so many many things i want to tell you before you really leave..but all i can do is to keep tellin you to go in peace.
at mandai, i called your name in tears when you are being sent into flames..i wish you could hear my saddness..
father you really taught me well and i am proud to have inherited your genes of making friends.
dad, i love you and cherish you with all i have. i am grown up enough. it is a hard process but i will still grow up because i don't want you to worry . you will be alive within our heart
father rest in peace, for you will be remembered and cherished for life. your son will fulfill what he promised. whatever success i have, it will be entitled to you, my father.
dad, we love you
tan khiam hock, my loving father,
20 january 1953- 18 september 2007
posted at 11:50 PM
Friday, August 17, 2007
ok, people, i am leaving this rock (not the earth) for 7 weeks. going not exactly a holiday. i am going to china, san dong, wei hai city. for my industrial trip.
i'll take this trip as a learning experience for myself, find my mature self, able to leave home for 7 weeks. i belief this chance is rare. so i will cherish this trip.
to all my frens reading this, yes my family and frens, i will miss you all. your presence in my heart will keep me motivated for this 7 weeks to perform my best.
i will miss home, miss everyone i know :)
i know it sounds gay, but who cares its' my blog.
7 days, around 10 and a half hour, i will be on my flight.
4 more papers.
next sem, new classmate, new life, a whole new ball game, can i overcome my problem? so i can leave on this trip with a clear mind and heart.
let's just wait and see.
before i have no chance to say this, i appreciate all that come to see me off, i thank you all from the deepest of my heart.
this shall be last post before i come back to singapore.
will you let up the sky? light it up for you?
i guess you wun be reading this anyway.
i somehow thinks you know..if you know, will you give me a sign? (keep my fingers cross, hopefully its a good sign)
posted at 7:49 AM
Thursday, August 02, 2007
i have the clearest idea of how..what is the feeling of that coke bottle after it has been shaked forever but never opened to released the gas inside, sorry for the lousy english illustration, on the whole..I JUST FEEL FUCKED UP,
i can feel my chest tighten, heart thumping loud in my ear...
all the negative things i've heard this week, indeed, fucked up enough.
specualtion, like i do give a fuck to wad the world think of me, to hell with self proclaim judge who think they can judge anyone any how...aiya, just dun act, show it, i am trying not to use harsh word here, so just show urself, do it, face me with the real u, come on.
oh..and out of the 3009 players in SF, I AM THE ONLYU BASTARD THAT COME PLAY FOR 2 WHOLE WEEKS, I CAN'T LOG IN, CAN'T KILL THOSE SONS OF GUNS, oh fuck..
and sis, stop being a bitch, please, teacher cannot be bitches.
half an hour from now, 15 days to exam, 24 days to the end of TB07 2007 sem 2.1
tell me why i am sad? and i am so damn disappointed...come on rthur..don't feel like u r going to whine..don't whine...don't feel sad..every one tries their best to unite the class..but i m sorry that people just don't show enough support so, too bad for me den.
if i can't see her everyday, is it going to be that harder? or is it going to be the same..
i am somehow on the edge that i feel lik my emotions ,not emo, will burst out. yea, remember how the coke feeling..
ok at least soemthing good, happen this week, to u benny, congrats. u have better hold on to this, ur consultant that is not paid. LOL
oh fuck..can i lock the emotions in me?
i feel lik i am goin to burst after tonight, after sis consume my time away using kong long ( my laptop) to watch dunno wad guys in pin hole camera, acting like she was some voyeur...and after that made use fo my time to burn her photos....oh crap..why does it seem to her, i have BETTER THINGS TO DO!
maybe being an elder sister soemtimes mean u r blind to soemthing, BUT NOT THAT BLIND.
the thumping in my chest hasn't subside..and i swear it is driving me to confess to her..i know i can't...i can't because it isn't the right time...or it is just too early?
the thumpin in the radio doesn't feel good all the time
posted at 8:22 AM
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
hey people, sorry to be away for so long, i was busy clogged up, wadever u guys wan to say just stuck with project and tmr is the last presentation.
and yea, i think many heard the good news and the bad message.
yes i m flyin this coming month, in fact it is about a month away, on 25th august, time not sure. for my Industrial training program. i will be headin china, shan dong wei hai ( can someone guide me to where is this?)
and yea, some family problem and i culd say i break away from my old skin and clean the bad blood with my own hands.
miss koh taught me well and i learnt, thou shall have revenge. and yes i will, in a lawful way :)
oh yea i am evil..LOL..
so life, ok i try to cut this crap that no one knows. yesterday on my way home with jermaine, talk about something, she told me somethings and i know she was driving at somethings.
so everyone on earth do something for motive, not out of the good will?
dun be superficial, not everyone (yes noteveryone) do things because they have motive. some (and yes some) do things out of goodwill so their conscious are clear
be nice, read the person well, not everyone do things for motive. if everyone is doin things for motive, i wuld have stop helping so much and get my motive done and get out of everyone live. thanks though i dunno if anyone will read this
sis, u tell me the pics were crawlin as slow as crap.
sis, have u seen a crap crawlin? if have, please let me know, i am damn interested to see it..LOL
serene blog plays great song, i swear, really great song. but since i am evil. i will keep it to myself and wun link her..wahahahahahahahahaha..
Soldier Front is getting more addictive after a whole day of study and muggin for exams.
specially when the people wearing helmet seems to die even faster..LOL..and the announcement of double kill..wa..it just sound good :)
boys will be boys
oh, it's wednesday already.
take care all. see u all soon.
and one more thing i will be refurnishing my blog b4 exam so yup. look out for it :)
if only life was that simple...life wun need the art of life
posted at 8:59 AM
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
ok its wednesday and i have yet read many piece of my notes...oh shit, i feel the slack feeling all over me..ooh..scary but relaxing. damn it la, dun slack liao.
ok, this is going to be a short mid term. let's mug hard and kiss our pathetic slacking ass goodbye, hopefully..haha.
sigh, the news was passed, yes, rapid wolverine passed away. let's pray for his family and him, may the world remember his legendary career in the WWE.
let's make a last toast of whatever alcohol you are holding to the rapid wolverine.
ok, reng fu, bixia, all of u are stars in my sky of friends :) satisfied?
haha, well, life is never enough when we meet wonderful yet crazy mad people like reng fu, bixia and ah soh. let me name a few of my squadmate, reng fu (i meant pinkybear2222, count the number of 2's it's the number of times u said), ong bak, rong qing, jie lun, km, benson, clement, bochun, ziming and daniel plus wei wei. this are some, i stress SOME of the mad people i know. haha, feel honoured that your name is mentioned.
next friday, IEF project deadline, kiss my ass....
next week no e-learning, oh another shittified week
tmr is IS, basic conversational japanese...wa..kawaii girls all arive !
next sat is cousin's wedding..hoho, good food, dress nice, bring my handphone to show off how good my 3.2 megapixel is..haha!
ok, getting to work, the work that made me colder than the stinging cold water.
posted at 6:36 AM
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
a question to all: what are we looking forward to in life?
my answer: nothing
reason: i live for today, not looking forward to anything tmr because today is today, tomorrow i s tomorrow, i wouldn't give a fucka bout it till it arrives.
i love today, not tomorrow. yes i am looking forward to nothin tomorrow because it hasn't arrive or happen. living for today, that's for real.
the more we think of tmr , the more it stresses us out, so why stress myself out?
living for today people, for now. not tomorrow
we still have our goals and dreams in life, yes we look forward for them to happen but looking forward for some other things, i heck care those.
just live your life once and that's it
posted at 3:26 AM
Sunday, June 17, 2007
yes yes i am pretty lazy about bloggin lately. no, not lazy, tired. projects draining my life away. perhaps i should have listen to joleen and go to design. perhaps la. but i am doing something i like, so a bit of complain also nvm la.
let's start with event of the month..(drum roll)..THE NIGHT AT CHOMP CHOMP. FEATURING THE ONE AND ONLY, THE MOST HIGHLY MOST WHATEVER..ME. and the supporting cast are SOH, XIA AND THE ONE AND ONLY RETARDED HEAD OF THE LIFETIME..MR TAN RENG FU. claps claps.
yes yes, abit exaggerating. but hey, that night was lovely, really. went to pl station pick soh up and she saw me was like OMG, I HAVEN SEEN HIM FOR AGES. lol, same goes for me. took a bus down to serangoon to meet xia and rf complaining about how loud their stomach was eumbling. greedy people, can't blame. haha. anyway. chatted along the way and made me feel very very very very very relax. i enjoy all of my frens company and it made me feel...refresh ( at least that's the word i can think of now ). having them for company was really the greatest that happen for this month. so far. yea and i wanna tell them i love them.
and to soh, read this, I REALLY NEHER SEE. haha. i can't belief we spend the whole damn like 2 odd hours laughin at soh's joke about people.can't remember though. haha, evil but pure funny. haha.
even now bloggin about it makes me wanna laugh. haha.
ok, after that night. dreading every moment of my life. projects projects. so little time so many things to do, tell me how? i need to get a watch that says i have 48 hours a day..wa..shiok, i can sleep 10 or more hours away and still have time to complete everything. lovely.
today is fathers day, to my dad, happy father day though i know u wun read it here.
imagine myself, about 10 odd years down the road. i hear the same thing from a kid that is my child la. wa...can't imagine what will i feel if that is said to me.
SMACK MY FACE AND WAKE UP, 10 WHOLE DAMN YEARS. STILL LONG LA. DO PROJECT NOW LA.
ok, the other me smakc me awake. but really i feel very very tired and find it hard to explain my thoughts lately, have i become more retarded? note i use the word more because i noe i m retarded sometime, yes, only sometimes. damn..the dumpling festival is here. there will be dumpling for breakfast and lunch and dinner. it happens every year. gee, i need to stay in school.
haha. anyway, in case no birdie notices. check ur calendar, it says JUNE, which means half of year 2007 is gone.
time flies when you enjoy but time zooms past when you are tied up with many things to do.
mean fact in life, accept it.
it's a sunday. taking a break now just to blog. ooh..b4 i forget, i am into sf with bert89 and cooper, eh fellas i say we form a clan, call the singapore sling. how's about that?
when u look back in life and look ahead. you realise something. at the point you are standing now, nothing is going to be the same as b4 or after.
as for me, music is once my antidote, now it is both an antidote and poison.
maybe a new antitode will be helpful and i have in mind what is it and i know people will kill me if i do it, i dun have to say much. go figure it out yourself.
music was once my antidote, it is now a poison as well.
posted at 12:08 AM
name:wen an
a.k.a:stopper, arthur
age:--
love music, frens, parents lots
love my family
love music
respect & cherish my friends
respect & will nvr 4get squadmates from spitfire
love to bring a smile to everyone
comics, anime..MUSIC
mostly english songs, some chinese songs
basketball, some degree of bowling and pool (no swim wear required)
those who act clever when they r simply dumb
money loving bastards
endless rain fall on my heart, let me forget all of the hate and all of the sadness
Come to decide that the things that I tried
Were in my life just to get high on
When I sit alone come get a little known
But I need more than myself this time
YOU DON'T KNOW
WHERE YOU'RE GOING TO GO
YOU'LL SEE BLUE SKY
TIME AFTER TIME
I TRY TO FIND MYSELF
I buried myself aive on the inside